This is a question that I bump up against from time to time. From a beginner student to a more practiced student and even myself at times. Is there any real purpose for delving into our inner worlds, thoughts and beliefs, for all this deep inquiry and shaking up of our lives? “Why am I even DOING this???”
At those times we have selective memory. We have forgotten that the reason that we are now doing this work is because we were not happy where we were. Whether it was in our work, our relationships, our finances, our body, etc……we are thinking, “well, my life was pretty good before I stirred up all of these old emotions.” The greater truth is that the buried emotions were driving our lives before…….
What is unresolved will play out in our lives over and over…….a different location,a different person, a different job………but the pattern shows up the same. Where ever we go, there we are.
But we have these thoughts. “Oh, why did I even start all of this? My life wasn’t THAT bad. My relationship wasn’t THAT bad. My work situation wasn’t THAT bad.”
And maybe it wasn’t THAT bad……….but something from deep inside has stirred you to take a deeper look, a deeper exploration, a deeper inquiry into your inner life……your relationship with yourself and the world around you. Maybe it was or was not THAT bad but you are now ready to grow and evolve into the next layer of your own personal evolution. You are now ready to take it up a notch. You are now ready to speak your greater truth. You are now ready to explore a new dimension of your life. You are now ready to break up and out of some of the old patterns of your life that have kept you repeating and repeating these old, worn out tracks.
It takes conscious, mindful effort to shift and change. It is helpful to have support and some tools to work with to find our way through the maze of our thoughts and beliefs. It is helpful to have support and tools as we make new choices to navigate a new terrain.
And so when we begin our exploration and we suddenly feel like we are unmoored from all that was familiar we may want to run back to the nearest shore………our old way of being. We usually find out that we cannot go back……..it does not fit anymore. And so we set off again. But now we can remember that this is why we are doing what we are doing.
Sometimes it is fun and exciting. Sometimes it is confusing and frightening. That is the way. So we get up. We sit down. We take out our pen and paper. We write. We ask important questions of ourselves. We reflect on our day. We feel into our hearts. We feel into the deeper wants, need, desires that we have. We sit. We are quiet. We listen. Maybe we will discover a softer way of responding to a situation. Maybe we will be able to connect with our life in a way that feels more meaningful. Maybe we will gain some important insight. Maybe we will hear some gentle guidance. We can let it be easy. We just show up and do it. And then we get up and let life live through us for another day.
That is why we bother to do this work. Because we are called from within to grow and evolve. Because it is time. And we are worth it. Many blessings and love, melanie
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