Where and how do I disconnect?

Most people want to feel connected.   Look at the face book, twitter, text messaging swirl…..it is not really about communication but a bit of connection.  We are starving for it, it seems.

So this week take a good look at where you dis-connect.  Observe where you start to feel uncomfortable and want to dis-connect.  Then observe how you dis-connect.  You may be in a conversation with someone.  Someone starts to bring up a topic or a person that you feel uncomfortable about.  You begin to feel anxious, nervous, a bit panicked perhaps.  You don’t want to go any further with this so your pattern is to disconnect, not to stay present and deal with the moment.

  So what do you do?  Do you start to glaze over, change the subject, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.  Do you start to “get busy”? 

Say you are alone and you begin to think of an uncomfortable situation or uncomfortable feelings.  Can you stay connected and present to what you are feeling or do you try and dis-connect from  yourself?  How do we do that?  Have a drink, have some food (even though you are not hungry-ice cream seems to be a favorite pick), go shopping, call a friend to be distracted, go mindlessly on-line, zone out with tv……..we are creative in our endeavor to dis-connect. 

We dis-connect to avoid.  We disconnect to feel safe.  Ultimately it does not work to free us from that which we are avoiding.

Observe yourself.  Just begin to bring an awareness to when you start to feel uncomfortable.  Watch what you do.  That is enough at first.  Once you get very clear about when you dis-connect and what you do to dis-connect, you can then begin to make new choices. 

If you start to dis-connect and you notice, ask yourself what can you do to stay present with the current situation.   Do you need to express something honestly?  Do you need to stay curious and open?  Do you need to be open to the feelings that have arisen.  Is this a time to do some clearing work?

We spent a great deal of time looking at this and tapping on this at the last mentorship class.  We have learned a lot of avoidance and disconnection tactics and it takes some time to shift…….

Let me know what you think.  Let me know what you observe about yourself…….

Remember, we don’t have to do any of this 100% perfectly.  We just make one change at a time and things begin to soften in our lives.

Blessed RAINY day!  Melanie