What Is The Neediness Inside Us?

Have you thought about this?  Have you noticed this within yourself?  Have you questioned it?  Sat with it??  Run away from it?

I was talking with a friend about this the other day.  This uncomfortable sense of “need.”  A need to be loved, appreciated, valued, seen, or  heard.  A need to know that “I am enough”.   A need to know that ” I do have value and worth”  A need to know that “What I do has value”.  Sometimes the volume gets turned up too loud and  can border on desperation.   Whatever our “need” is.

If we get quiet, we can feel the difference between a healthy desire to share love, appreciation, value and we can feel when we get a little desperate.

Filling up from the inside out!

I think we all have some of this within us.  As long as we are “getting” what we “need”, we feel satiated and at peace.  But take that piece away and YIKES!  All kinds of insecurities and “neediness” can spike.

I have had conversations with people around addiction to food and they will say, “Oh, I have no addiction to food.”  Really?  What if your coffee, your bread, your sugar, your wine, etc. was taken away?

We aren’t always conscious of what we are so tied to until it is taken away.

When we feel the “neediness” in ourselves it is time to focus on learning how to fill more of our own cup.  Begin to question yourself.  What is this need really about?  What do I think “they”, “he”, “she”, “it” is going to give me that I cannot create or receive elsewhere in my life?    Where are you looking outside yourself to be filled?

We get a great deal of satisfaction from relationships, jobs can be fulfilling and rewarding……..of course!  These are the joys of life.

I am just suggesting that we look honestly at  where we are expecting too much from people or situations outside ourselves.  It puts a lot of pressure on others to try and fill us up.  And it does not feel good to the person we are leaning on that heavily.  In a sense, we are “feeding” off them so we do not feel uncomfortable.

So once again, why are we feeling so uncomfortable?   And what do you do to fill that void?  Shop?  Drink?  Get busy?  There are many ways to avoid this feeling.

There are deeper things going on here………..and when we can address them we are on our way to finding a greater sense of ease within ourselves.

And once that happens?  Our lives fill  with deeper connections, more meaningful work and exchanges and a greater sense of Self.