THE UNDEFENDED MIND

My intention is to write 2 of 3 blogs a week and I have only written ONE so far this week so here I am again:)

I have written down several ideas to think about with you and today the one that pops off the list is “the undefended mind”.  Wow, what a challenge…to move through our day, our interactions, our conversations and not feel defensive.  In my mentorship we spend all year working on creating a curious mind and releasing our defended mind.  Again, it is a practice that will probably last a lifetime and beyond.  But it is a worthy practice. 

The undefended mind has the luxury of being curious, relaxed, open.  It is actually a relief to not have to be so on guard and to “prove” oneself.  An undefended mind is confident enough to look at alternate ways of viewing things.  An undefended mind can be curious why someone made a different choice without being judgemental or critical.  It allows for more connection, more relatedness.  When we are defensive the other person feels it as an attack and it  only heightens the separation.

Again, the first thing to do is just notice when you begin to feel defensive.  Where are you feeling it in your body?  What kind of situations or remarks cause you to want to “push back”?  What is the deeper reason that you want to hold your position?  Is there any room to be curious about the other persons stance?

This is not an easy practice.  None of the spiritual practices are easy.  We are human beings and we have a lot of unexpressed emotions.  We want to be right.  We don’t want to be “found out”.  We don’t know how to stay soft and open in our communications.  I have found out that when I can stay more open and curious, the other person is then willing to do the same.

Let me know what you think about this.  Have you noticed your mind wanting to defend itself today?