On Death and Dying………

One of our great teachers in emotional healing and transformation, Debbie Ford, died 2 days ago.

I was shocked when I saw the news.  Whenever I think of Debbie, I see her brilliant smile, her light spirit and her great wisdom.  I did not know Debbie personally but have been impacted by her work over the years.  She was 57 years old.  Wow.

Last year, David Simon, Deepak Chopra’s right hand man, died.

Jerry Hicks of Esther and Jerry Hicks and the Abraham Teachings died November of 2011.

3 very important teachers of our time passed over.

Abraham says “you just go into the next room”.

I was shocked when I found out that David Simon had a brain tumor.  I assumed he would recover and live on for many years.  Had I know about Debbie Ford’s illness, I would probably have assumed the same.

My first thoughts were, “But they have done so much healing work!!  On themselves and with others.  How is this possible!!??”

Bottom line is, we all die.  If not at one age then at another.  There are no guarantees.  A whiskey drinking, cigarette smoking guy could live into his late 70’s or beyond and someone, as these two, who lived clean and clear died in their 50’s and 60’s.

Who can know?  No one.

Yesterday I felt myself anxious about my mortality.  I felt anxious about getting sick and what would I do and who would take care of me.  I felt anxious about suffering.  I started to think about every ache and pain and “what could this really be?”

We will all have to face our own death.  “No one gets out alive.”

I have never felt afraid of death itself but I don’t want to suffer and I don’t want to leave my kids, friends, students or my work……..not yet.  Not for a long time.

But yesterday it was staring me in the face and I had to feel those feelings.

“Contemplation and meditation on death and impermanence are regarded as very important in Buddhism for two reasons : (1) it is only by recognizing how precious and how short life is that we are most likely to make it meaningful and to live it fully and (2) by understanding the death process and familiarizing our self with it, we can remove fear at the time of death and ensure a good rebirth.”  Venerable Pende Hawter

Death is not something that is talked about in this society very much.   Even after someone has died we don’t like to bring it up to those who have lost the loved one.  We feel uncomfortable.  We want to deal with the living.

That which we do not understand or reflect on often causes more fear.

And so I had my first real practice of  “contemplation and meditation on death and impermanence” yesterday.  It is not like I had never thought about it before but it hit me in a new way.

I am in the process of learning what it is to live as a 60 year old woman in a culture that keeps telling me that I am “old”.   And so I am processing this aging process and the prospects of “going into the next room……….”

Bottom line thought after much reflection yesterday is this: Appreciate the day that you have, Melanie.

And so today, I appreciate all of you, my readers.  I hope that my words inspire you to look a little more deeply into your own thoughts and feelings.  Love those that you love with abandon.  Laugh out loud.  Tell a corny joke.  Be comfortable in your own body in this moment.

It is what we have been given today.

Many blessings, melaniej

P.S.  So what did I do to help me move through the anxiety?  I did my Daily Practice.  I journaled, I did EFT, I sat in the quiet, I felt what I was feeling, I did some breathing and chanting.  I used the tools that I teach.  And later in the day I talked to trusted friends about it all.   It was an interesting day.

P.S.S  Thank you Debbie, David and Jerry for your contribution to the healing of our hearts……………..