I was working with a couple clients today around their relationships with the men in their lives. I had them write down, “Men are………” and fill in the blank. They repeated the exercise for about two minutes writing down every thought that popped into their minds without any edits or deletions. There were some surprised looks on their faces as they were writing!
What will happen in an exercise like this is that everything that you have experienced with a man will show up. “Men are strong, generous, kind” to “Men are self serving, unconscious, controlling.” What shows up are the beliefs that you have taken on about men and that is what is going to continue to show up in your life.
In this exercise, you will be able to quickly see what patterns you are playing out with the opposite sex. You will probably be able to pick out what adjectives you experienced with your father……….then you will see how you have been playing these out with the other men you are intimate with in your life!
This can get a little complicated so I am going to stop here……HOWEVER, here is the next step of this exercise.
Take the first negative quality you came up with and think about what you want to experience and create a new statement. For example, “Men are self serving” could become “The men in my life deeply nourish and support me.” or “The men in my life are thoughtful and caring about my needs.”
We will always find proof to support what we believe. If we have an open heart and believe in the goodness of life, we will “see” all the good of each day and focus on that. If we have a general grudge against life, we will see the world through those lenses. We will think that people are out to get us, we will see people as rude and uncaring.
What is uncanny is that we do actually EXPERIENCE life according to the BELIEFS that we carry! If you want to experience life differently with men, we need to work from the inside out.
There is a lot more to this but we first need to know what beliefs lie hidden in our sub-conscious. This little exercise will reveal a lot about what is roaming around in there. Once we uncover these thoughts, we might not be so surprised at what is playing out in our lives!
When we look deeply into our beliefs we can actually begin to see how WE actually continue to perpetuate them in our lives……but this is for another time.
If you have questions or comments, please drop a note.
Of course, for men, simply write, “women are………” Find out what you really think!
Blessings as we move into the end of October, Melanie
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