Loving What Is……..

……this is the title of Byron Katie’s first book.  She says, “we only suffer when we do not accept what is.”  Ain’t that the truth!!

Sounds like it should be an easy shift but usually we go kicking and screaming wanting to hang on to “what is NOT”!!

Philosopher, Miguel de Unamuno, says “Life is fired at us point blank”  meaning we are ALWAYS having the experience we are supposed to be having.   OUCH!

We tend to want to blame and point fingers and claim our own innocence…….safer than to be in radical personal responsibility!  I know.

So, loving what is.  That means all of it.  The good, the bad and the ugly.

When we are asked to love what is in the present moment we lose our resistance. The irony is that when we lose our resistance the “thing” can then shift in a moment!

What is the desperation inside of us that causes us to hang onto so tightly to that which is not?  Fear of being alone?  Fear of being judged?  Fear of not being seen? Always it is SOME type of fear.

So loving what is invites us to embrace our fears.  It invites us to trust what is showing up in the moment.  It invites us to trust the process.  It invites us to look within and ask “where is my next step in all of this?”  It invites us to feel the fear without creating a story around it.

We spend most of our lives running from our feelings.  We do.  Most people are not even aware that they do this.  They know that they “feel” better if they stay busy so they just stay busy.  The reason they feel better being busy is that that keeps their suppressed feelings at bay.  It may seem to work in the moment but over time it is not any kind of peace producing solution.

Most of us were never taught to really sit with our emotions.  We love to feel the good ones but until we have the courage to sit with the more challenging feelings, we will not truly move forward.    It is not to become mired in them but to really allow ourselves to feel them deeply………then they can move through and be released.  We keep doing that over and over until they become less and less intense.  It is like the waves of the ocean……some small waves and some large waves but they all dissipate once they crash to the shore.  “This is coming up to move through.”  Let this be your mantra.  INVITE more of the difficult feelings to come up so you can get THROUGH them!!!  It sounds counter intuitive I know.  Turn and face the beast??  Yes.  It is the quickest way to peace.

I, myself, sit with what is every day.  Sometimes I like what is there more on some days than others.  But I sit and I feel it fully.  As uncomfortable as it is, I sit with it.  And I watch the wave come up, crash to the shore and be gone.

I still have more waves to experience for sure but at least I now know and trust the process.  Love what is and you will begin to truly love more and more what is:)

Happy Valentines!!  Melaniej

Please come to ” Exploring the Mysteries of the Heart” my tribute to the month of love (although I like to think of it as the life of love:)

We meet from 5:00-7:00 Feb.12, THIS sunday at Sun Moon Yoga Studios here in Mankato, Mn.  cost is $40  An evening of heart opening experiences………