Judgement, Criticism and Blame…Can We Do Better?

It seems to be in our nature to judge, criticize and blame.  I am no exception.  It may have something to do with self preservation and keeping ourselves safe but I can’t find much true value in it.

Why is it our minds want to find “the crack”, the thing to criticize or judge?  We have all heard that we do that to make ourselves feel better about ourselves but that is very fleeting.  I may feel better for a bit but then I feel dirty and certainly not experiencing my higher self.

This practice creates separation.  It keeps us from becoming more intimate and real.  “If you are this way or that way, I can’t trust you and so I will keep to myself or only share a small piece with you.”

But if I keep you small by judging you, I keep myself small as well.

Judgment!

I have seen this recently in my neighborhood.  This neighbor says this about one neighbor and then this neighbor says this about the other and the truth is none of us even know each other very well.  Why do we do this?

It doe not feel good.  It does not elevate us.  It does not elevate the other person.  And most of the time we do not even have enough information to truly judge that other person.  We are simply reading them through our own perceptions and fears.

If we took more time to understand and be curious we would be less judgmental.

If we were more interested in building up than tearing down we would be less judgmental.

Of course, this pertains to ourselves as well.

I am taking on a new practice this week.  I am going to look for something I enjoy or admire about each person that comes into my awareness.  I am going to catch myself as quickly as possible and turn any judgment into a more positive view of this person.

I notice that when my feelings have been hurt (usually unknowingly) I want to criticize or judge that person rather than just being straightforward and expressing myself about what is going on for me.

Will you join me this week in this new practice?

This practice will reveal to you how often you want to dis someone, even in small ways.  Shift it as quickly as you can.  Perhaps explore the reasons why you want to put this person down.  Especially note how this makes you feel.  Both in the present moment and perhaps later in the day.

We love to project our own insecurities onto the famous and the wealthy!  We can judge and criticize them all day long.  But why?  Why do we/you/I do that?

I started this last night and it felt SO much lighter in my chest/heart to think about my neighbors, friends and family and consciously focus on the things that I love and admire about them.

Please join me!  Just for one week!  Then you can go back to any amount of judging or criticizing and blaming that you desire!

Let me know your thoughts and experiences:)  as always, my best and my love to you, melaniej