I have been sharing Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements” with you the last couple weeks as I think they are such valuable principles to practice.
The third agreement is, “Don’t Make Assumptions”. This agreement is about getting really clear about what has been said or experienced before you make your mind up about something. It is an interesting phenomena of our minds in that we tend to flip to the most NEGATIVE thought first……….He didn’t call me because……he doesn’t like me any more. …….he is angry about what I said to him last week……he found someone else that interests him. Often times we don’t even CONSIDER what turns out to be the truth. He was busy, he had a family situation to deal with, he was just enjoying time by himself…….etc.
Jumping to assumptions cause us a lot of pain.
Byron Katie tells this story that also explains this agreement well. Katie was out walking in the desert near her home. She was about 5 miles from her home when she saw something in front of her on the trail. What she “saw” was a type of snake that was EXTREMELY poisonous and aggressive. Her body instantly broke out into a cold sweat and she knew that she would die if bitten as she would never make it back to town before the venom took hold. All this took place in one instant in that one assumption. On a second glance she realized that what she was looking at on the trail was actually a rope……..not a snake but a rope! The body responded to what her THOUGHT was, not the truth.
How many times do we react to the “snake” that is actually a “rope”?
Watch your mind this week. Notice how many times you jump to a conclusion based on a false assumption. We have so many fears of rejection, failure, abandonment, etc. that we “see” proof of something that is not even there. We cause ourselves a lot of anxiety by not asking further questions for clarification or taking a closer look at a situation before we jump to conclusions.
Stay awake and watch your mind! I can fall into this pit easily myself.
Much love to all of you and thank you for reading my words and the love and support that you share with me! Melanie
Thanks for the good words, Melanie…and be sure you watch out for Snakes/Ropes 🙂
I read this book years ago and I think I need to read it again. Your analogy with the rope makes so much sense. I don’t have the faith/belief in myself that I should and cause myself a lot of grief because of that. Thanks for reminding me of this book as I think reading it again will do me a lot of good. Have a great day.