This is a question that has been coming up with several of my students/clients lately. Checked in? Checked out? Are you zoning or are you present? Do you even know?
It takes a certain kind of energy to stay present. We FEEL the people that stay present with us and typically we enjoy being around them. We feel heard. We feel appreciated. We feel a connection.
Then there are those people that we are never sure when they are “home” or not. They are sitting right in front of us or next to us but where are they? It can be very confusing. They are there and then they “disappear”. We can feel angry, confused, hurt, lonely ………….
- Winter Wonderland
Do you feel this is describing you or someone you know? Do you have a difficult time staying present with whoever you are with at the moment? Is your mind always somewhere else?
Have you explored this? Where do you go? Why do you leave?
Or are you always checking your texts/emails even when you are in the company of others? Why?’ This is another way we “check out”.
Sometimes we are just tired. We need a break. Personally, I cannot be “on” all the time. I need time and quiet to refuel. If I don’t, I will be checked out when I am with friends or clients. I need to honor myself and those around me and communicate that. I need to set some boundaries or just say “no, I need some alone time right now.”
A lot of us will be around more people than usual over the next couple weeks. Take care of yourself. Take time out to refresh and renew yourself when you need it. It is not selfish to do that. Then when you are with others you can be fully present to enjoy them.
If this has been a long standing pattern of yours, it may take some time to unravel it. Begin. Even if it is just noticing when you check out. We can’t shift what we are not aware of……….
With that…….have a LOVELY holiday! Connect with those that matter to you, find time to renew yourself. You never know what joy you might experience if you stay present………much love, melaniej
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