Connection!

I am having a great time connecting with friends and family this summer.  As I was considering what to blog about this morning the word “connection” came to my mind.  I have spent a lot of time thinking about what this means to me in my life.  I am always looking to feel connected and realize that it has changed a lot over the course of my life.  When I was in college, I loved going to big parties and flitting from one group to another laughing and talking.  That was fulfilling to me at that point in my life.  I loved knowing a lot of people and that type of exchange in a social setting satisfied me at that point.   

Times change and we change.  I no longer enjoy large parties.  I enjoy a smaller group of people where I can feel connected with each of them. 

Feeling connected brings a sense of great joy and satisfaction.  It may be connection to our work, our home, our pets, our spirituality, our friends, our family and ultimately to ourselves.  The areas we feel the greatest connection will be the areas we feel the most “successful” in as well as fulfilled.  Areas where there is little “connection” can leave us feel vaguely unfulfilled or restless.  We can spend an evening laughing and talking with friends but can  leave feeling empty if no real connection has been made.   Have you had that experience?

I believe that we all long to feel connected but we often lack the skills that can create that.  We are also afraid of what that connection will ask of us.  What will we have to give up to have connection?  What will we have to reveal about ourselves?  What if I reveal myself and I feel foolish or exposed?  What if people don’t like me if they really see who I am?

 We are often afraid to be vulnerable and transparent and yet that is where the deepest connections and intimacy is found.

We set the stage to create connection with our environment.  If you are someone who is very active, you may invite people to hike, bike, kayak, snowshoe, go camping, etc. with you.  If you love to cook and entertain, you will probably invite friends to come over for dinner.  Perhaps you would involve them with helping you create the meal.  If you love movies, you may watch a movie together and then have time to discuss the movie……..there are many ways to set the stage. 

Once the stage is set, how do we show up?  Sharing information and sharing something personal about ourselves are different experiences.  We can easily hide behind information.  It can feel safer to talk about things that we know about rather than what we are personally experiencing at the time. 

If you are satisfied with your connections, good for you!  Keep doing what you are doing.  If you feel dis-satisfied, dis-connected,  check in to see where YOU are dis-connecting.  Check in to see if you are hiding in “information” and vague sharing.  It can be scary to begin to speak from a feeling place where you reveal more about yourself.  But if you desire connection and intimacy, that is the terrain that must be traveled.

I feel fortuanate to have many people that I connect with on a deep level. 

Some questions to stir deeper conversations can be: “What are you dreaming about these days?”  What have you done lately that is deeply satisfying?”  “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”  “How do you see your gifts being used in the world?”  “Where are trying to grow yourself?”

At the end of the day, it is the moments of true connection that we feel and remember and treasure.

These are some beginning thoughts to think about the idea of connection.   I hope that you enjoy many rich connections in your life!  Blessings, Melanie